After the bicycle misadventure, I was ordered 2 weeks rest and complete pamper by the cute Doctor Bakshi at NHS. Now thats the perfect advice for a couch potah-to like me. It was complete binge time..sometimes eating upto 4 meals a day and the midnight snacking too. But the wildest ideas strike you in those ‘pampered’ moments. After finishing ‘another’ pack of crisps I limped carefully to the mirror and saw to my horror that all what i shed a month back (850 grams to be precise ;~D) was back with a vengence!! So I checked out some pics of the good old ‘slimmer’ days, my mum’s and sister’s pics and made myself feel miserable. Finally resolved to take charge of the situation. In a nutshell my new fixation is FITNESS.
At this point I must confess that like everyone I am extremely jealous of people who wear spandex and jog for an hour at a stretch. I am very fond of fitness programmes (which i watch while munching on french fries). And though extremely ashamed to accept this, it was just two years back when I was training to be dance instructor (can i hear guffaws..it is the truth people..but the 100 crunches EVERYDAY killed me, so dropped it midway).
Now gym membership was out of question as university gym always has a long serpentine queue behind it (I am embarrased to jog in front of those 6pack abs students). So friend and I sign ourselves up for advanced aerobics and we see that a guy named Mark is taking the session. Accordingly friend goes shopping for chic sports wear as she has this ‘gut’ feeling that Mark will be hot! (a GUY taking aerobics!!! dearest friend MEN dont take ‘AEROBICS’ generally)
Due to a missing-key-mishap from yours truly, we reach the building just in time. The class was supposed to be in ‘studio 1’, but we ran into ‘a studio’ where we saw a few students warming up (this is after we nearly took a short cut through a Shower Room, which ended up being the Mens shower room-friends idea!). To my horror, some girls I knew from my hall were also present in their sexy spandex flexing their toned muscles (the world is indeed a SMALL place!!! aargh!) Suddenly the music is pumped up, a woman (who i am believe is German for some reason) tells everyone to pick up weights. Now we were only expecting aerobics, where we just jump around and we were expecting MARK…where the hell is MARK?? On enquiring with the girls from the hall on whether it is the advanced aerobics class- i get the reply..’What aerobics??? ‘ Before we could react, the instructor shouts- ‘quick pick up your weights…we have no time to lose‘. That is the first time i was shouted at in London!!!
What happened after that is …(Instructor with stern look and foul mood)
We begin with simple squats….yeah come on 5 more..I WANT 5 MORE SQUATS…now squats with weights….go pick the rod with weight and lets do squats AGAIN…go LOWERRR….complete your squat..next slow squats…all you lazy bones…move it people move it….hey dont drink water…..and 4..3..2..1…hey where do u think you r going…we now do lunges…come on give me 30 on each leg..get moving people, stop faking cramps!!!….next pick your weights…lunges again…..okay..are we done with 30 on each leg…now go get your mats…i want 20 crunches in each position..NO RESTING in between….lets begin… NOORRRMMAALLLLL….now cross leg…..18…19…20…have u finished your 20 so soon…do another 20.. next side crunches…hey stop looking tired..now i want 20 pushups…and go slow……everyone stop being lazy…lets jog!!!…okay 45 minutes…STOP!!!”
What a relief. The next 15 minutes saw friend and me walking back to our rooms taking the support of the walls of every building in the way. We were still clueless of what that bootcamp class was all about, but were too tired to think for the night. Next day morning saw our bottoms, flabby ‘abs’ and thunder thighs sore (now sore is an understatement) and I still need support to sit, stand and even use the WC!!(have i ever told u that i am an aquaholic…groan!) The suspense was killing me, so went after college to figure out what was it that I underwent….and now the moment of truth…We had walked into the wrong class and the class we attended was aptly called…
BUMS TUMS and THIGHS!!!!